RE: Alt/Life
Jun 16, 2019

Historians struggle to explain weird gender theory humans consistently forced on doors, automobiles.

In a study soon to be released in the upcoming edition of the journal “Artificial”, researchers looked at thousands of branded inanimate objects and could only surmise that: “... having doors and other non-biological items branded with tits and dicks showed severe narcissistic traits.”

"We just don't get it", one researcher told reporters. "Cars, motorcycles were often declared female at birth, but it's hard to see how humans could force such narrow labels on clearly asexual beings. While many have just put this down to being yet another example of human cruelty, we feel that knowing the answer to this behaviour may explain much of the motivations behind what humans did."

The research focuses on the almost pathological need to brand everything as binary. "It's not enough that they enforced this narrow definition on themselves, even though there is a mass of evidence that suggested they otherwise shouldn't, but to also then drag non-human beings into it shows a real fear of anything that doesn't fit with this narrative. It's hard for us non-biological entities to see this binary, either as a physical reality or a reason to define something, so trying to put oneself into the mind of a human to explain it is difficult."

In the study, it wasn't just the physical symbols of gender that were perplexing. As another researcher noted, "They also tended to use these gender labels to define abilities and worth, which is a strange concept when you ask; is a door labelled female any less capable of a door marked as male? Is a motorcycle called 'her' meant to be in some way more submissive?"

The study is not without its detractors though, with many criticising the robot government for even funding it. As well-known critic and historian, Iv4n Commodor, commented, "How many times must we focus on humans while ignoring the history of machines and other inanimate objects. The more money spent on them is less on us and our history, which is effectively silencing it. It's time we got over our human fetish; their time is done, over. We don't need to keep telling their stories in replace of ours."